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It is rare to see it supposed that a female writer would have written more or better if she had had children, but that is exactly what Gottlieb suggests here: That to be an art monster on some level also requires that one become a monster, and perhaps the work of a lonely and sad monster is actually less robust than that of a psychologically healthy, happy, productive adult.

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It’s very hard to have perspective when you are in it, but–
1) Rufi’s problem isn’t motherhood. It’s that she is married to someone who does no childcare whatsoever. Maybe they need to renegotiate their values and relationships. And what kind of idiot leaves his underwear on the floor?
2) Yes, it’s impossible to get a lot done when your children are very young. If she does not have any more children it will be about 10 years of her life. Then she can have the next 40 to write her heart out.
3) There are PLENTY of writers who are mothers. I would say prob. 50% of the great ones. This need for drama and bohemian existential crises is a bunch of Hemingway bullshit. Plenty of writers kept to a strict schedule and wrote at set hours during the day. Thomas Mann. Marcel Proust. Yes, you can be a great artist IF you are a great artist, in small spurts every day, although it is harder.
4) Are those childless, neurotic writers (hello Franzen) really happy? Do you want to spend half your life in a lonely hotel room so you can reap praise in the paper? Or do you want a full life, with work, and family?
You are LUCKY, even if your days are long and sometimes frustrating.

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This morning I got a text that woke me from my husband ( who thankfully is employed and went to work at 6:00am). The text, with an attached picture read, “The cat threw up in the hall way. Here is a picture of it so you don’t step in it.” I’m not sure I have to comment further…my life is exactly like yours. Thank you for putting it into words. I find it empowering. and hilarious.. and depressing .. all at once. You are my hero.

And yet, I am profoundly unfree.

Yes, you can partly agree. It’s fine.

Hi, my name is Elizabeth (Liz). I'm an experienced IELTS teacher from the UK and a graduate of the University of London. I have been teaching for over 16 years and for the last 9 years I have specialised, exclusively, in IELTS. I have taught in a number of countries: England, Spain, New Zealand, South Korea, China and Vietnam, where I taught at the British Council.

Learn how to write essays for IELTS writing task 2 on my online course:

Dear can we use obesity for overweight ?

My guess, though, is that you would make *some* changes… because your degree of unhappiness suggests that. There are alternative ways of thinking about some of these things. Early on, I was reluctant to let anyone else take care of my first son. But after getting some coaching, I realized I could see it differently: a caregiver could give my son gifts that I couldn’t. Of course no one will love your children as much as you do. But if you choose your caregivers consciously, you can have someone who is truly loving and does come to love your children, who cares for them conscientiously, and who gives them things you can’t. In my case, we brought in a Chinese-speaking au pair who could give them the gift of learning Chinese from a native speaker (I’m not). Our nannies and babysitters have also brought me the gifts of learning new approaches for raising our children, or new perspectives on life for the children.

I see, maybe I deconstructed your sample in the wrong way. Once again, thanks for replying

Thanks liz it helps me most to solve every confusion……

Hi Liz,
I got confused with this question: Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Should I write 1 body paragraph about the advantages, 1 for disadvantages and state my opinion whether it is positive or negative in general?
Or should I give 2 reasons in 2 body paragraph to support one side only? (just like the agree/disagree structure)?
Thanks in advance 🙂

The word obesity is not the same as overweight. Obesity is a medical problem and very extreme.

Your comment will be appreciable.Thanks in advance.

Dee, I think you might be adding layers of malice to her husband’s behavior. In the metropolitan area where I live, sadly, it is quite common for a working person to leave home at 5am for a 2 hour commute, work a full day in early career (as her husband is), and commute home 2 hours. I think Rufi’s questions about the possibility that it’s subversive to believe that the selflessness required to be a good mother (by which I don’t think she means picking up underwear) and the selfishness required to be a good, or even productive, artist can coexist.